Aim for Progress, Not Perfection

I know that one of my biggest flaws is that I tend to be a perfectionist. I know how I want things done, and if it doesn't look exactly how I imagined it's just not good enough. I also know that this way of thinking is very toxic and detrimental. I know that I sometimes joke about how I'm not OCD, I just like to have things a certain way. And while it's true that I have never been diagnosed with OCD, I have been teased over the course of my life for liking things to be "just so". I have gotten much better about this, but it wasn't easy. And over the years I have learned that making progress is more important than making something perfect.

None of us start out doing something perfectly. We all have to continually practice in order to improve. Whether it is a task at work or a new hobby, new things take time and practice to learn. And let's face it, none of us are ever going to be 100% perfect. That is just not how life works. There are days when I wish that things would be perfect, but part of the beauty of life is the imperfections in everything.

A few years ago, I hear someone say "Practice makes progress. None of us are ever going to be perfect, but we can keep working to get close." For the life of me, I cannot remember where I heard that and I wish I did. It really changed my outlook on things. For starters, I used to think that if I just worked a little harder, I could be perfect. If I just studied a little more, I could be the perfect straight-A student. If I just practiced a little more, I could be a concert violinist. If I just worked a little harder, I could be a master martial artist. Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with wanting those things or working hard to make them a reality. The problem comes when you start thinking that you are not good enough because you are not perfect at what you are doing.

Aiming for perfection always sounds good in theory, but it is unrealistic in practice. There is only so much you can study or practice before you start to burn out. If you stay up until 1:00- 2:00 AM every day doing school work, then go to martial arts practice for 2 hours after school, then practice the violin for 2 hours after you get home, you are going to burn out. Your body needs to rest and sometimes, you just have to let things be "good enough". Likewise, there is nothing wrong with just doing things because you enjoy them. You don't have to be a professional singer to enjoy singing your favorite songs in the shower.

Sometimes, aiming for perfection can take the joy out of what we love. I absolutely love singing, I was in choir in school, and I love singing along to my favorite songs while I'm cleaning around the house. Singing brings me joy. When I was younger, my family went to a local outdoor concert that the town I grew up in held regularly during the summer. The performer that night was a young woman just a few years older than me. She was amazing! Her voice was wonderful and her songs were mesmerizing. At one point my dad came up to me and told me that if I practiced more, I could be a performer like her and we could tour all over the country and possibly even the world. I had no interest in performing and I told him as much. He was shocked that I didn't want to work hard to become a famous singer. What's funny is, a few years later, Dad was offered a position as a charter pilot to a resort in Tahiti. When I asked him why he didn't take the job, he told me that it would make flying, something that he loved doing in his free time, too much like work.

I've gotten into the habit of when I'm working on a specific issue with a client, instead of trying to solve the issue right away, acknowledging the progress we've made in the time we have and assuring them that we'll keep making progress until the issue is resolved. Most of the time, what this looks like is working on a knot or tight spot until it is looser and letting the client know that it will take more than one session to get it worked out completely. But every time the client comes in, we get the spot a little looser and I let them know things that they can do at home to keep it from tightening up again. Eventually, the knot is completely worked out and the client doesn't have to deal with several days of soreness with this method.

No matter what you are dealing with, aiming for progress rather than perfection can give you so much more freedom. It allows you to take your time and do things the right way rather than the fast way. It allows you to do what you love while continuing to enjoy what you are doing. And it helps you to move forward without feeling pressured to immediately be the best.